Where do I begin?

Well, lets just start with last week was the week from HELL....yes I even spelled it out, not trying to sugar coat it!! I thought the week would never end!! Let me start at the beginning of this very lengthy post, Sunday Ryan pooped his underwear, count um THREE times. Totally frustrating because normally he doesn't poop that much and he didn't tell us any of the times before or after, and one of the time was at church. Let me remind you this is just the beginning! Monday, Monday, Monday as I'm sitting here typing I can't even remember Monday or the events of the day it seems like years ago. TUESDAY, Tuesday is the day! When I woke up I thought to myself I should just ignore the yelling kids in their cribs and go back to sleep, I could tell by the way Ryan was yelling for me at 8 that he was in a mood already and it was going to be an uphill battle ALL day!! I had plans with a blog friend who I've never met but been trying to get together with for over a year, so despite the mood of my two year old I wasn't going to cancel my plans for the zoo, and I thought maybe, just maybe the zoo could pull him out of his two year old funk! We got to the zoo and met up with our new friend and had a great time getting to know her and her sweet little boy(I knew her husband from high school), and my plan seemed to work of getting Ry out of his little funk. He was doing so well I decided to let him feed the parrots in the Parrot Paradise. I was holding Caroline and Ryan was running around the boardwalk terrorizing the birds and trying to knock birds off of other children's food sticks. I was walking over to get Ryan from a group of children, when all of the sudden I was on my back and Caroline was lying a foot away from me screaming bloody murder, and all I could hear was a man in the background yelling,"OH MY GOSH SHE FELL SHE FELL, OH MY GOSH SHE DROPPED THE BABY, SHE DROPPED THE BABY, SOMEBODY HELP HER SHE DROPPED THE BABY!" I stood up a little shocked and not quite sure how I fell AND dropped my baby, some one handed her to me and I walked out of the exhibit to look her over and talk to security. Somewhere in the shuffle of it all I forgot about Ryan and some one brought him to me, maybe my friend I was with but I'm not sure( she was on the other side of the exhibit and miss all the excitement), but he didn't have his Buzz Lightyear(which he got for finally going poop in the potty) Caroline was fine just a little bruise on her cheek and very hurt feelings. I noticed right away that we were missing Buzz and went into panic mode! I'm sure I looked like the crazy mom that wasn't too worried about dropping her baby but crazy about finding stupid Buzz. Okay so you are think wow that's awful, and I'm sure it couldn't get much worse but it does, just wait. So we finish up at the zoo, my friend invites us to lunch and we join her. We eat lunch and are just throwing away our trash when I realize Ryan has poop running down his leg!! Lovely!!! We say our goodbyes (quickly) and I take my kids out to the car, strip Ryan down and try and find a starting point to clean up the mess since I made even more of a mess just taking off his underwear. Now one might ask if I know he's had this problem why wouldn't I just put him in the pull-ups, I just don't believe in them, I think he would just treat it like a diaper. I'd rather clean up a few poops and get it over with. Anyways.....so I'm cleaning him up trying not to get angry, so as not to discourage our new found potty training efforts. A man walks up and clears his throat, as if to suggest that he needs into his car. I turn to him and say, " Look you are just going to have to wait because I'm up to my elbows in poop and it's going to take me a little while!" The man looks at me blankly and I turn back to cleaning up my two year old! I get everything in zip lockbags, new underwear on Ryan, buckle him up and head home!! That's not the end of the story either! I get home get my white trash child out of the car, throw my keys in my diaper which is sitting on the passenger seat, get out of the car close my door walk around the car to get Caroline out and to my shock realize I have locked Caroline in the car with the keys!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!! Not only did I drop her but I have locked her in the car!! I am the worst mom ever, this totally negates the hours I spent making beautiful costumes and all the other mom stuff I do!!! I think about braking the window but realize we have NO money and that would make my ghetto car even ghettoer(not a word I'm sure)! And Jared doesn't have a spare on his key chain and it's like a twenty minute drive. So I quickly decide to call 911! Luckily it wasn't a hot day but it was warm enough. Then I remember my white trash kid running around in his underwear, I didn't want to give the firemen the impression that I was a totally unfit mother, so I rushed inside and got Ryan some dirty clothes out of the laundry. By the time I got him dressed we could hear the sirens coming up our street. Ryan was so excited to have the firetruck parked right in front of our house and pointed out all the different hoses and ladders to one of the firemen standing around while the others worked to get the door open. It took maybe a minute or two and Caroline had no clue what was going on! Needless to say after our eventful day everyone took a really good nap!

After a day like that I vowed to myself that I wasn't going ANYWHERE the rest of the week! I held true and we stayed home to get the potty training under control. The rest of the week was less eventful, but stressful none the less. I think we turned the corner with the potty training and I'm hoping this next week is nice and mellow.

So if you know where to send the mother of the year nominations please let me know, or you can just forward this on!